My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
