This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
