..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
