Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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