Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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