their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
