He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
