I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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