She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
