Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize