you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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