my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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