Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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