no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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