Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
