Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
