I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
