it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
