Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
