I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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