I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
