when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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