he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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