remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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