I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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