NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
