we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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