You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
