8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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