I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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