the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
