if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got inside last night via doggy door
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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