Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
