Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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