please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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