I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
