So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
