Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize