Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
