hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize