he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
