The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
