Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
