Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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