I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
