yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she peed on how many people?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
