her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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