32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize