Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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