Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
