Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
