So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
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