I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
