Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
