why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
