I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
