we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
