I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
