Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
