I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
