i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
