So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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